There's one degrees in Bangor One degrees in Bangor People try'na get degrees in Bangor Bangor Not gonna get degrees in Bangor You're not gonna get degrees in Bangor 'Cause the work's too hard and there's too many lectures The work's too hard and there's too many lectures Gonna fail all your modules Gonna fail all your modules Gonna fail all your modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modu-modules.

JLDP: One, two, three four ZP: Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Cheeky irish fuck Saul Goodman Saul Goodman Saul Goodman Goodma-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Saul Goodma-a-a-an Cheeky irish fuck Cheeky irish fuck fuck fuck Cheeky irish fuck fuck fuck Cheeky irish fuck fuck fuck Saul Goodman Saul Goodman Saul Saul Saul Goodman Saul Saul Saul Goodman Hire him as a lawyer Hire him as a lawyer Hire him as a lawyer (JLDP: Is he irish?) (ZP: Yeah, 'cause his real name is like...) (JLDP: Jimmy McGill) (ZP: Yeah, exactly)

Brid Bridlington Brid Bridlington Holderness coast that's the one Bridlington is bloody on Holderness coast fuck no nooo Bridlington's sunk into the sea BRIDLINGTON HAS SUNKEN INTO THE SEA THERE'S FUCKING NOTHING LEFT IT'S JUST RECEDING QUICKLY 30 CENTIMETRES A YEAR 30 CENTIMETRES A YEAR BRIDLINGTON IS FUCKING GONE THE HOLDERNESS COAST IS GONE Bridlingtonnnnn

(JLDP: I will write a pop punk song right now all right literally) ZP: BABES BABES ALL DAY BABES BABES ALL DAY SO MANY BABES TO CHOOSE FROM SO MANY BABES TO PLAY BABES, BABES, BABES (JLDP: Except those lyrics were more creative) ZP: ALL DAY

(JLDP: Ralph I want you to just invent lyrics they can literally be about literally anything don't think about it before I just want to go) ZP: TOLKEIN IS MY FAVOURITE MAN HE MAKES ICE CREAM FOR THE MAN THE LAND AND THE SEA THE SEA AND THE SHARKS TOLKEIN EATING THEM OFF THE WOOD BARK TOLKEIN GET AWAY FROM THE WOOD BARK ALL THAT SLIME THE SLIME IN YOUR MIND THE SLIME IN YOUR MIND AND TOLKEIN'S IN YOUR PARASITES THE WOOD ELM TREES TOLKEIN GET OUT OF THERE STOP INVENTING LANGUAGES TO DISTRACT FROM THE FACT THAT YOU'RE EATING ALL OUR NATIVE TREES NO WONDER BRITAIN IS ECOLOGICALLY DEAD NO WONDER BRITAIN IS ECOLOGICALLY DEAD IT WAS TOLKEIN ALL ALONG You think I have nothing left to say after that song about Tolkein all my ideas run away but NO I'M SWITCHING TO ANOTHER LANGUAGE I'M SWITCHING TO ANOTHER LANGUAGE I'M SWITCHING TO ANOTHER LANGUAGE OUAIS C'EST VRAI PARCE QUE JE VEUX PARLER EN FRANÇAIS PARCE QUE JE VEUX PARLER EN FRANÇAIS C'EST LE MEILLEUR LANGUE DU MONDE ET LES HOMMES QUI NE VEULENT PAS PARLER LE FRANÇAIS SONT LES DÉGOÛTANTS PAS DU MONDE MONDE DE MA MONDE DÉGUEULASSE IMMONDE ET VÉGALE VAISSEAU AU BORD DE L'EAU Suddenly a sunny disposition washes over me Zouéseau patate is free of the minds that melt us and the sea that dances on my dreams I float away in the knowledge I have imparted to you Bridlington and the swamps and Tolkein's decay Please make way For Timmy Dee I'm Timmy Dee I'm Timmy Dee Timmy Dee Is dead YOU MAY THINK IT STRANGE TO FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH BUT TIMMY DEE DID IT THREEFOLD YES HE FAKED HIS OWN DEATH AND HE FAKED HIS MOTHER'S DEAth AND HE FAKED HIS BROTHER's DEATH BUT THE LAST TWO THEY ACTUALLY DIED IN OTHER WORDS IT'S MURDER TIMMY WOULDN'T SAY THAT JLDP: This Timmy fellow doesn't sound like a very nice gentleman ZP: HE WOULD DISAGREE TIMMY WOULD DISAGREE BECAUSE HE THINKS HE'S REALLY COOL HE EDITED HIS WIKIPEDIA PAGE HE EDITED IT TO SAY HE'S A LOVELY MAN HE EDITED IT TO SAY HE EATS KITTENS FOR BREAKFAST BUT THEY'RE DISEASED SO IT WAS GOOD FOR THE WORLD AFTER ALL IT WAS GOOD FOR THE WORLD AFTER ALL

ZP: Timmy's brother Had a life Before his murder He enjoyed himself He painted paintings And ripped off other people's songs but in a wholesome way in a- JLDP: Shut up I'm not ripping off anyone's songs is what he said ZP: He did but he was wrong Because he in just enjoyed the music He ripped off BUOYCOX He ripped off Scouting for Girls He ripped off fucking Pavement He didn't even like them that much he just liked the baseline to cut your hair Timmy's brother was a simple man But the band he liked most was Weezer On account of his asthma and the fact that he was incel Timmy's brother had only one friend in this world JLDP: Shut the fuck up I am not having that MM: Well I thought you were covering ZP: I AM SORRY JACOB I DIDN'T MEAN ANY OFFENSE I WAS JUST SPITTING WORDS OUT FROM MY PORTENSE MY HEAD IS FILLED WITH SHIT MY HEAD IS FILLED WITH SHIT HE DIDN'T RIP OFF ANYONE TIMMY'S BROTHER WAS INNOCENT Was a bit too talented for this band There was a talent mismatch Slug Walkin' along The park But slugs don't walk Not in parks Not in sight of humans In sight of humans So when Slugs Are hidden from view They walk all day Just like you and you Yeah you thought I was gonna rhyme me and you But I didn't I said you And you Didn't expect that didja

We've transitioned to acoustic You wouldn't think so but we'll make it stick A much nicer genre It's our favourite tune A much nicer genre What a serendipitous boon 'Cause we've transitioned Transitioned

I've lost things and you've lost thing We've all lost things and he's lost things I've lost things and you've lost things and she's lost things and we've lost things I've forgot things and you've forgot things and we've forgot things and I've forgot things Optimus Prime Prime of his time Optimus Prime Prime of his time French coiny French coiny French coiny French coiny Best coiny the'd the ever had First coiny that you ever had First coiny that you ever Had First coiny that you ever had First coiny that you ever had French coiny and the old coiny and the green coiny and the dream coiny I've lost things and you've lost things we've all lost things we've all lost All lost All lost Forget me not N'oubliez pas de moi Do you want to go Do you want to help me find it all for the end You could help me find yourself I've lost things and you've lost things we've all lost things in the end I forget things and you forget things we all forget things and help me find them Help you find them I will help you find them I will help you find them I will help you find Please don't sulk if you've lost your things Please don't sulk if you've lost your things Please don't sulk if you've lost your things Please don't sulk if you've lost You've lost You've lost You've lost You've lost I will help you to find your things I will help you to find things Things that you'd get lost before I will help you to find your name I will help you to find your name Find your name oh find your name Find your name Find your name (The turkification won't last forever)

I like to eat thee big grenouilles They are my favourite snack My favourite dish My favourite fish My favourite bish My favourite thing Is to lie on a cold green wood Cry about everything but we're not emo We're not emo No complicated lyrics just some shit I spit out of with this singing dish And we dance in the gardens of France No simple rhymes I'm out of time 'Cause I like eating lots of dogs and the frogs and the bogs and the thick dirty logs and the snake and the rake and the mind and the field The pashion the chash and the think and gabield I don't believe That it's sustainable To keep eating goats Shouldn't keep eating goats We shouldn't shut them in our moats to make great castles and fill them up with frogs and hens and bats and birds Keep them alive Keep them unheard Lock ourselves aways A dark dungeon Hush all night Drink all the gin

Levels don't exist They're um iln your mind they're a cyst I refuse to assist But you get the gist Don't make me make a list I'll shove my fist Into this letter It's not getting better I lament the loss of CDs What the fuck they're like pastries They should be eternal be untoppable But they're not they are encroaching On the sweet vinyl I'm sure cave men resisted the wheel but spotify's not rightA It's not real What the fuck why can't we have some art in this place I'm really sorry but I'm not I refuse to rhyme I refuse to play your games or be On time You want me to sing or maybe you don't Maybe you wanted me to shut up Stop my throat But I won't I refuse That's what you like That's what you would like me to do You'd like me to sing Eat my shoe But the lib dems got eight Eight MPs In that election so I'll eat my hat

I was walkin along Shreveport, Rhode Island Close to the block I was thinking to myself Hummin' Usin' pomade I chanced upon a little lizard A little lizard with a 'squito on his back I look at him He look at me Eyes dead-lock tight in a chain An the lizard begins to rise Begins to fall and slight He said to me He said to me Why do you look so funny I SAID FUCKIN LIZARD WHY DO I LOOK FUNNY TO YOU FUNNY TO YOU IN YOUR TINY LIZARD BRAIN I DON'T LOOK FUNNY AT ALL IN FACT I LOOK A LITTLE BIT COOL IN FACT I LOOK FUCKIN PERFECTLY SANE He had a satchel on he back 'Bout 30 mile back Eyes waterin glow Of the night In Peru I reply Lizard You judge me When I doubt even your basic understanding of the finer arts But he had a crew He came prepared He looked up With eyes aglared And he open his mouth to say You feel lucky on this day I FEEL LUCKY AS A DICE LUCK AS A DICE IN A LAS VEGAS NIGHT LUCKY AS A DREAM LUCKY AS A QUEEN LUCKY AS YOUR SOUL TO BE WHEN I KILL YOU KILL YOU DOWN AN CRACK DOWN AND CRACK IN A NIGHT OF BLACK AN YOU'RE DEAD YOU'RE DEAD YOU'RE DEAD LITTLE LIZARD SCALE ON THE FLOOR Or at least that's what I would've said If I hadn't froze up Turned away Ran between my tail An thought about what I just said in the shower An how fuckin cool that would've been How cool I could've been An the lizard He didn't forget that day Not once not twice 40 year later He always thought of the potential coolness that cowboy out in Shreveport He wished he was a crocodile But he was more of a totodile An he still laughs about that little cowboy on the moon THAT LITTLE COWBOY ON THE MOON THAT WAS ME YOU FALL TOO I WISH I COULD'VE BEEN THERE BUT I WASN'T WASN'T WASN'T WASN'T HE LEFT US I HAVE FAILED I FAILED TOO TELL YOU THE TRUTH THAT THE TRUTH WAS I WASN'T ON THE MOON At all

(ZP: <gibberish> I reckon) (JLDP: Bridlington) ZP: Brid-lington Brid Bridlington Brid Bridlington Brid Bridlington That's the one that Bridlington's on That's the one it's flooding on Holdneress coast falling into the sea Bridlington is f<gibberish> me OH NO AUWWW AUWW BRIDLINGTON HAS FALLEN INTO THE SEA BRIDLINGTON HAS FALLEN INTO THE SEA BRIDLINGTON IS NOW IN THE SEA IT'S FUCKING GONE BRIDLINGTON BRIDLINGTON IS IN THE SEA BRIDLINGTON INTO THE SEA IT'S REALLY GONE SUNK INTO THE SEA SUNK INTO THE SEA JUST LIKE MY PROSPECTS FOR THE END OF THE UYGHUR GENOCIDE BRIDLINGTON IS NO MORE SO MANY CHARITY SHOPS SO MANY BOOK SHOPS THEY'RE ALL GONE THEY'RE ALL GONE EVEN DAISY'S MUM IS FUCKING INTO THE SEA INTO THE SEA INTO THE SEA INTO THE SEA INTO THE SEA THE FISH HAVE WON The fish have won The fish The fish The fish have won The fish The fish The fish have won Yes the fish The fish The fish The fish have won Yes the fish The fish The fish The fish have won They engineering climate change Engineered climate change Engineered climate change 'Cause the fish have won 'Cause the fish have won 'CAUSE BRIDLINGTON SUNK INTO THE SEA BRIDLINGTON NO MORE TO ME 'CAUSE THE BRIDLINGTON IS DEAD TO ME 'CAUSE THE FISH HAVE WON 'CAUSE IT SUNK INTO THE SEA BRIDLA BRIDLA BRIDLA BRIDLA SUNKA SUNKA SUNKA SUNK DUNADUNADUNADUNADANANAN 30 CENTIMETRES A YEAR 30 CENTIMETRES A YEAR 30 CETIMETRES A year (Take your pectoral fins an stuff 'em up your arse) (JLDP: Your what?) (ZP: Pectoral fins, on a fish)

(JLDP: You know how hard it is to write an original song?) (ZP: No) (JLDP: It's not easy I'm tellin you. Let me tell you something, this song is as original as it gets. Ralph, hit the lyrics) ZP: Firewall of plains and cannon and ball and evil Firewall of plains and cannon and evil and originality Originality is pleasing to me 'cause I'm an artistic soul Only care about pure wisdom and undiscovered rock an roll I've got my cheeks yellow and green and like to kiss yours too in the way of the french the way of the french That's all I care about I wish I wasn't English I wish I wasn't English Just like a lot of people wish they weren't English (JLDP: Sounds a lot like riptide though) ZP: I don't think I was finished with my lyrical message It's almost as if we need a different song To divulge it The kingdom of Mercia was taken over The kingdom of Mercia was taken over The kingdom of Mercia was taken over Wessex took all their corpses Wessex took all of their <backwards madness> Kingdom of Essex hiding on the north sea shelf Lindsey Kingdom hiding there waiting to be snatched up by Northumbria Northumbria Northumbria (ZP: Who did we just rip off then?) (JLDP: No one that was an original song)

(ZP: That was really cool!) (JLDP: I don't know if it was recording) (ZP: It was!) (JLDP: Damn ten minutes of solo-ing)

JLDP: Lyrics ZP: I like my toast warm but not American JLDP: One two three four ZP: I like toast I like toast I like toast JLDP: The chorus bit with the whatever. One two three four Twice as fast You like American toast then ZP: Navassa island is HAITIAN Free- Free Puerto Rico And Lincolnshire Free East Turkestan The Pyrénées is Andorran Tlaxcala must be reborn Cascadian independence? Long live Bermuda Spurn Point is rightful Lincolnshire territory JLDP: The greatest ending to the greatest album ever recorded